why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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