I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she pinky promised me she was 18
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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