i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
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Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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