Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
