Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
