Just fell off a train. Bad.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
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Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
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I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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