i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
