the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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