dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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