matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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