I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Shame is for Republicans.
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