He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize