I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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