I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
