This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
