Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
