went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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