They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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