My nipple is on Facebook.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
