Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
