..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I need water and some morals
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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