It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
