id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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