Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
