Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
