plz talk dirty to me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
