but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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