listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
