Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
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