accomplished twins. life is a go
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
