I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
