Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
