he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We are all done wearing pants today
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
