First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
