would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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