I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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