So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
