this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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