i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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