Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
