Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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