If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Four minutes until I can fart!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
