I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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