You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Never joke about your clitoris.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
