So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
