i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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