My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize