Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
