we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
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The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
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Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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