Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We have so much sex to catch up on
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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