I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
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Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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