um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
