thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
