But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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