dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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