i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
