At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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