How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
