i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
this will be a night to untag.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
