My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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