My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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