I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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