Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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