I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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